tales from the cryptkeeper
I’ve been wanting to vomit since this morning. The first time was during a hasty breakfast which was just an Energen drink given by a co-worker. The second time was during lunchtime when I ate this Molo courtesy of the CAS English Department. Dinner was rice, chicken, and sotanghon served by the COE ILS Department and I’ve been wanting to throw them up, too.
I’m not pregnant.
Don’t you have that funny feeling of just wanting throwing up? It’s probably because they came too easily (and for free) that made me lost my appetite. Perhaps I was too full that I have no more space for them in my stomach. Or maybe I was too empty that I got used to that feeling already. Or could it be that I’m craving for something else?
Life seems to have a funny way of giving you what you desire. I desired for something else but what was given to me was something that I’ve desired in the past. Should I take it? Why not? Maybe this has been the answers to my prayer all along.
I feel like a zombie these days. Yes, I still don’t have a firm grasp of the sudden changes in my life. I feel like a child who asked for a puppy but was given a grown dog instead. I don’t quite know what to do with it. Nevertheless, I am thankful.
I am happy. Happier than most ordinary days. But sometimes I am afraid of this happiness. This feeling still seems alien to me. I want it to last. But the future is not mine to foretell. I can only live at this moment. If only I can stop time…
No matter how much I want to throw up. I couldn’t seem to. Perhaps I am really hungry and that feeling will just pass. Maybe this "vomit" thing is just all in my mind and what I really want is to finish all those food. Could it be that I’m just taking everything for granted?
I want to vomit again. Not with the food. But what life offered me.
